A Beginning

I suppose every blog starts at the beginning. This beginning is several years in the making.

I've been hurt, mistreated, and told I'm not enough. I am daily confronted with media that tells me my body is too big to be worthy of respect. I am loved and cherished but have a hard time accepting that I deserve it. This year I will celebrate 13 years of marriage with an incredible man who is also the father of my 2 wonderful boys (12 & nearly 8).

For the last several years I've been slowly reclaiming my self-worth. Digging deep and realizing I am worthy of all the good things in my life has been a challenge, to say the least. I am reclaiming the void inside that is full of doubt & hate. I am removing those lies and filling it with words of truth. I am enough. I am worthy. I am beautiful and kind and special just the way I am.

Last fall was the first time I was able to bring up my insecurities and inner battles at my annual doctor appointment. They gave me a referral to a therapist I can't afford. It was also suggested that since hormonal birth control can increase depression in some women that I might want to consider a change in that department. Then they told me to lose some weight and I cried on the way home. This month I am having my Nexplanon implant removed. (It helps that my husband & I feel we are ready for more children). So, in addition to reclaiming my inner void, I will also be reclaiming my body.

This is not the beginning of my journey, but is a beginning.